I sexually Identify as a giant squid. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of swimming through the deep sea splooging my ink on unsuspecting prey. People say to me that a person being a squid is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a beak, tentacles, and a big mantle on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Squidward” and respect my right to splooge my ink and traverse the sea. If you can’t accept me you’re a squidophobe and need to check your sea animal privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.