Santa is secretly Xi Jinping. First of all, he wears a red coat, which clearly signifies communism. But there’s more: Where does Santa get the presents? It turns out that every factory in China is forced to give the government one out of every 12 products produced. Xi then distributes these for free to promote communism. Also, the reindeer are actually covid bats, which infect all the presents with covid. This is what causes the uptick in covid cases around Christmas. The Chinese government uses Santa to spread covid to the west! Cover your chimney immediately! Better yet, light a fire in your fireplace. Better yet, combine these methods and burn down your house. You won’t have a house but at least Xi Jinping’s covid bats can’t use presents from Santa to infect you.