Ahem, hello there. I’m Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and one of the most successful people on the planet. I’ve done some pretty impressive things in my time, from creating Windows to launching the Xbox. But today, I want to talk to you about something that really gets my blood boiling: Halo 4.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Bill, Halo 4 was developed by 343 Industries, not you!” And that’s true, technically. But let me tell you, as the visionary behind the original Halo franchise, I am deeply offended by what 343 did to my beloved creation.

First of all, let’s talk about the story. The whole thing was a mess. It was convoluted, confusing, and downright boring. Where were the epic battles that we all know and love from the previous Halo games? It was like they took the heart and soul of the franchise and ripped it out.

And don’t even get me started on the multiplayer. It was a disaster. The maps were uninspired, the weapons were unbalanced, and the gameplay was just plain frustrating. It was like they took everything that made Halo great and threw it out the window.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Bill, you’re just saying all of this because you’re bitter that you’re not involved in the Halo franchise anymore.” And sure, that may be part of it. But the fact is, I care deeply about the Halo franchise and I want to see it succeed.

That’s why I started the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, by the way. To help people in need and make the world a better place. And while that may seem like a non sequitur, let me tell you, it’s not. Just like I’ve dedicated my life to improving the world, I also dedicated my career to improving the gaming industry. And seeing a game like Halo 4, a game that I poured my heart and soul into, get tarnished like this is just… well, it’s like seeing someone pour acid on a beautiful work of art.

In conclusion, Halo 4 is a disgrace to the Halo franchise and to everything that I stand for as a gamer, philanthropist, and human being. I can only hope that 343 Industries has learned their lesson and that the Halo franchise will one day be restored to its former glory. And hey, while we’re at it, why not donate to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation? We’re doing some really great work over there.