Get the hell out of here with your Keebler bullshit you tiny elf piece of shit. Thin Mints beat Grasshoppers in every way. Lets start at the packaging Thin Mints come in 2 convenient sleeves so you can split the package up immediately between you and your spouse and no one gets a plastic baggie like a homeless man or a toddler.

Secondly the cookies shape. Thin mints are consistent and rarely damaged with the superior packaging whereas those elf cakes often have chipped off fudge or even cracked cookies due to the jagged inconsistent shape and shitty plastic tray. Thin Mints have a perfect and consistent thickness which gives a perfect cookie to fudge ratio unlike those epileptic elves dumping fudge all over the cookies at random.

Last the taste. Thin Mints have a perfectly crisp cookie with just enough crunch to get that crack sound but not so hard you sound like you are chewing pop rocks. The cookies dough is always perfectly mixed giving 0 hollow pockets and 0 rock hard patches that you have to chew through. Those Keebler shit heads can take their knock off cookies and go back to the tree stump I will stick with my fantastic delicious cookies delivered to my door by the wonderful children of my neighborhood.