Hey guys, intern at the Biden campaign here. Ever since his son Hunter introduced him to the game “Among Us” while on vacation in Libya, Joe Biden has developed an unhealthy obsession with the popular game. At first, it was a little funny, even cute. He would play the game with his granddaughter regularly and even do some streaming on Twitch during down time. Even when he uttered his infamous line “Orange is sus, vote him out” on the campaign trail in Georgia, it was funny at first. But after a while, it became annoying, even disturbing. When he bought his new aviator shades, he declared that he “got drip”, whatever that means. And when we tried to take his phone away from him right before his scheduled rally in Montana, he uttered a blood curdling scream and immediately rose to his feet, a shocked expression on his face. He tucked the phone into his pocket and “Narooto ran?” away from us. He hid himself in the local Pablo’s Mexican restaurant lavatory and refused to emerge until we proved we weren’t “faking tasks”. We had to bring out the Secret Service detail and they used crowbars to pry open the door. When the door finally opened, we saw that he had climbed to the top of a stall and pulled open a vent on the ceiling, attempting to escape. We had to get two agents to grab him from his legs to finally pry him off the vents. He looked at us with bloodshot eyes, screaming at the top of his lungs, punching, kicking, and spasming. He declared that he had tried to “vent” from us and that we were “giga-sus”. After this incident, his aides found in his search history, “how to be sus” and “how to be imposter”. And on his desktop, we found a TOR browser to the dark web. He had ordered an “among us potion” from Pakistan and in his drawer we found that the vial had already been consumed. We immediately scanned the vial for any harmful chemicals, but we have yet to find anything, and it will take months before we get a definitive result. Ever since that day, his mental and physical health has declined tremendously, and he has become even more unpredictable. One day, a new intern by the name of Sally Benson, commented on Joe’s new Supreme brand puffer jacket, the latest of Joe’s “drip” collection. She said it was very “unpresidential”, and that he should remove it immediately. Behind those Aviator sunglasses, I could sense his rage. The next day, she was missing. We thought nothing of it at first, she was a caring single mother of four, after all. But after a few days, we got worried. She wasn’t returning any of our calls. The next day, the local Sheriff’s Department informed us that a deceased woman matching her description was found in the local national park. We were horrified. When we went into Joe’s office to inform him of her passing, he was playing Among Us. When I explained to him this unfortunate occurrence, he turned to me, with a dead serious look on his face. He explained that “black was being sus” (Sally happened to be African-American), and that she had to get “kicked”. Horror dawned upon me. Could it be that Joe Biden was responsible for this? After the closing of the 2020 Election, it only got worse. More and more of my colleagues have been going missing, and I’m now terrified. Joe Biden has expressed to me that he wants to “troll the country with among us”, and gave me a sinister smile. “When the President is sus!” He said. I’ve never been more terrified in my entire life.