Long ago I invented crop dusting, a type of flatulous where upon I release my bowel scents as I walk hither and yon. All the town folks know me by my calling card, and for those that do not ask for it, I give it to them, so fragrant is my essence.

Whilst boning the French Queen, it behooved me to create and invent the Dutch Oven. I did shove her head beneath the covers as I tooted. Naturally, she passed out, so heavenly and wondrous is my vapors.

I invented the bifocals so that I may look over them whenever a scoundrel absconds from flatuary ownership, and I am there to chastise. I made the Boston cathouse reverberate with my manly cavity horn I did cleave my pantaloons in two. No tailor dared try to mend them, so great am I.

I theorize with enough beanage, I shall be able to propel my ample ass off this world and into the stars where I belong.