I made a comment about a new picture my wife bought to hang on the wall.
I said, “Dear Lord, it’s too big!”
The wife said, “Things you’ve never heard me say for 200.”
My daughter who was in the room said, “Jesus Christ, Mom! What the fuck?! That was just fucking mean. That hurt so bad it reverberated through time and I’m fading away.”
My wife laughed, and my daughter just patted me on the back in a consoling manner as she walked past my speechless face.