I feel, awful after sucking a dick.

So I(M19) met a guy on Grindr. I use to think I was a bi-curious, but after give him head. I came home and just vomitted. I really feel awful. I just felt like, wtf is down my throat when it happened. I feel like a worthless scum. I don’t know my feelings. I wanted to talk to someone about this. Even after almost 5 hours, I want to throw up. I don’t ever want to get involved in sexual activity with someone.
I just want to forget everything. I want to die. I just can’t feel good. I want to throw up again. Even though I was the one who did it. I feel awful, I can’t even swallow my own Saliva after that. It really feels disgusting.

Thank you for reading this.