My grandmother is soooo like this. We share a small bunghole together because she can’t take care of herself like she used to, but our living situation is becoming untenable.
Basically, she’s like a child. I know she’s old and all, but still. Just demands things left and right. She takes and takes, yet gives nothing. And she has no sense of personal boundaries whatsoever! Like, I’ll be on the toilet having a poo or making love to myself, but usually both, and she’ll just slam the door open with her Hoveround, demanding I get her another box of wine as she does. I’ll be like “Nana, can’t you see I’m trying to poo and/or rub one out?” and she’ll be like “if you didn’t keep the chardonnay on top of the fridge we wouldn’t be here now” and I’ll be like “I keep it there so you don’t drink yourself to death you goddamned alcoholic” and she’ll be like “you just keeping me alive so you can keep cashing pop-pop’s pension checks” and I’ll be like “that is accurate, now let me finish.”

But this doesn’t only happen when I’m in the bathroom. She pulled the same stunt a couple months ago while I was in bedroom having a three-way. Well, it was actually just me, my Vietnamese blow-up doll Kim, and a Teddy Ruxpin with a pacifier glued to its mouth all getting freaky while watching The Notebook. We had just got to the part where Ryan Gooseling was standing in the rain, aka the money shot, when Nana burst in on her Hoveround carrying a black tom she rescued from the neighbor’s back porch on her lap. She shouted “Mister Mistoffoflees is hornery and needs his anal sacs drained” and I was like “Nana can’t you see I’m in the middle of something you stupid asshole” and she was like “you call me ‘stupid asshole’ yet only one of us has their childhood pacifier jammed in their butthole at the moment” and I was like “at least mine still works” and she was like “the pacifier?” and I was like “no, my asshole” and she was like “that reminds me, you need to pick up more colostomy bags.”

I did end up getting those bags, and also draining Mister Mistoffoflees, but not before I finished the Notebook, because no matter what Nana takes from me, she can’t take away my dignity. A wise person once said that’s the greatest love of all.

As for Nana, I just don’t know what to do. I tried disconnecting the batteries in her Hoveround so I could be left alone when going to the bathroom or watching a Ryan Gooseling flick like Lars and the Real Girl or A Place Behind My Bush. Unfortunately, I ended up disconnecting the power supply to her oxygen tank instead. She turned as blue as the hair in her wig. Sure, I appreciated the peace and quiet while it lasted. But I didn’t dare risk it again. I really need those of pension checks.

[Sauce](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4ie9mr/what_kind_of_people_do_you_absolutely_despise/d2xfsmv)