Muscle is the tool of the brute; the ignoramus who has nothing better to do with their time than lift pieces of metal up and down. Whenever I see a muscle-clad Chad, I silently grin to myself, knowing full well that they use the muscles in the body so much more than the most important muscle in their head.

For an intellectual such as myself, there is no alternative to the blade. It depends on skill, not muscle, skill which can only be honed through practise and patience. And that practise and patience translates into the rest of my life too, whether it be using my full dexterity to land an epic headshot in CS:GO, or using my patience to wait for Veronica to finally notice how much of a gentleman I am.

So keep your muscles, Chad. I’ll enjoy seeing my Nippon steel slice them like makizushi.