same here in the UK (where it comes from, i’m pretty sure) & everywhere else on the planet.. i think it’s literally just the USA that changed it to Waldo?

I truly wonder why though, seems like an unnecessary change. maybe cause Wally is too close to Willy, and willies -> sex -> bad?

if kids see or hear or even find out about the existence of sex, they become irrideemably corrupted conduits of hell, remember. first it’s all “where’s wally?” then next thing yer know, it’s “where’s the 16 inch dildo?”

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#####edit: i come to you, at this hour of uncertainty, with the overwhelming burden of delivering extremely heartbreaking news.

To my anguish, i learned on this dark night at approximately 01:46AM some upsetting revelations about our dearest Wally.

Those of you who were deeply close to Wally will know that he has, to this day, been localised in several languages aside from the Queen’s English, and has been attributed more than 7 different indigenous names, bestowed upon him by the countries that have imported him.

During his tenure, ‘His Royal Hideness’ struck a tender and beautiful chord with people of all ages, heritage and religion. It should therefore come as no surprise to you all that Wally was a man of the world, in every sense – embarking on a never-ending voyage to seek truth, and inspire joy in those who need it most.

Many of you will also appreciate that Wally had a frightfully dangerous and wild abandon, whenever the moment took him. in order to be photographed amongst a visually breathtaking sea of camouflage, our courageous comedian would oft scramble around in precarious and perilous places, risking life or death for the perfect picture to satisfy his faithful audience. In order to maintain the highest level of safety and security possible, a remote team stays in contact with Wally and ideally keeps a visual lock on him, though due to his absolutely impeccable technique, they tend to lose sight of him once he nears his sweet spot…

In his most recent endeavour, Wally delivered an ultimatum to his audience and to the world at large:

>”It has come the time for my Magnum Opus.

>Within the next 2 months, i will have disappeared like never before and become one with the Earth itself; no longer bound by my physical conduit, i will finally achieve 100% transparency. Those of you who are optically diligent should of course attempt to find me – if i am discovered, i will have failed, and my legacy turns to ashes. This challenge will push me to extremes and far beyond the boundaries of man.

>After precisely 6 months in hiding, i will announce my return to my home in Margate. I will hold a press conference and debrief, and upon its completion, i will take my permanent leave of this pursuit for good. I take solace in knowing that my final hide, if successful, will strike a blow to the Gods themselves.

>Seek me. Glory awaits us all.

>Yours, Wally.”

And just like that, the game was afoot. Many millions of Wally’s adoring fans took to the internet to create a comprehensive collaborative network of intel. For Wally’s staff and security teams, this was their greatest challenge too. Wally had already insisted they do not take part in this final hide, but none of his most loyal servants could, in their right mind, allow him to undertake such dangerous work without a series of failsafes. Refusing to be followed, the team stayed in contact with Wally over radio, with bi-daily check-ins that took note of his physical and mental wellbeing.

All was going to plan until the team received a series of erratic and laboured radio communications from Wally, during the night of the 14th January 2020. Wally’s last known location at the time was deep in the Nepalese Andes. One member of the team described the messages as ‘haunting, absolutely haunting words – it didn’t sound like it was him anymore, he was rambling excitedly about transcendence, and something about removing parts of his body to become smaller, and something about a pothole, or was it portal…? something about exploding and meshing with ‘the void’…? ..it was just horrible to hear such… mania, out of the blue like that. especially from a truly loved employer and – i think i speak for all of us when i say – friend.’ The team have been offered counselling and grief support services in the wake of this devastating event.

A full report has been internally written, and key parts disclosed to members of the Where’s Wally? Tell Me Right Now, Fuckface! Foundation, including myself.

###It is therefore – with great sadness – I must inform you all tonight that Wallington B. Wumbersnatch has been presumed deceased, aged 69.

He leaves behind his loving wife, 3 sons, 4 grandchildren, 2 dogs, 30 million books – and even more fans across the globe / flat non rotating disk.

Wally stopped responding to radio communications on the 15th of January, 2020, at approximately 11:00AM, and after a painful 2 months of searching, the team and his next of kin have reassessed the situation, and declared the disbanding of the live rescue mission. His immediate family are planning to release a statement later this week, while recovery efforts to locate and retrieve his body are still ongoing.

A funeral service open to the public is to be held shortly after the private one, with either a burial or, if no remains are found, a cremation ceremony of his traditional striped garments and iconic circle-rimmed eyeglasses.

I am truly apologetic for bringing this distressing news to your attention. May we hope to feel Wally’s blessing from the heavens, and may we see his little hat poking out from behind a cloud.

Thank you all.

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edit 2: i literally spent an hour writing this. what the fuck is wrong with me. i should have been asleep hours ago and nobody is even going to see this comment. for fucks sake mate