Many people come up to me and ask me “elfah, what is dank”, im an expert in this field of course, they love me. These people, they love me. And you know what I tell them? I tell them I absolutely am an expert at dankness.

“So what is dankness”, they ask me. And I’ll tell you. Dankness is made up of many parts but what are a few parts? A few parts of dankness that I like are relevance, offensiveness, and surrealness.

lets start with relevance. If I don’t know what they’re talking about, if you don’t know what they’re talking about, am I going to laugh? No. No I tell them, that’s not funny. I tell them that, I do. “That’s not funny” I say. I really tell them that, and they love it! Really, they come up to me and they say “Thank you Elfah”. Really truly they do.

Offensiveness. Everyone always freaks out about offensiveness. “Waaa” they say. They start crying about it! Really! They truly come up to me and start crying. “Waaa my feelings”. That’s what they say! I’m not kidding! I think it’s funny! Really! Some snowflake tears. Who doesn’t love some snowflake tears? Huh? and that’s what offensiveness is.

Surrealness. Really, I invented surrealness. Really! It’s true! I invented surrealness and people say I’m a genius. Really people say “That elfah, a real genius that guy”. And it’s true, I really am. Who doesn’t love a little surrealness? I love a little surrealness you love a little surrealness, we all love it! What is surrealness? Well what isn’t surrealness that’s what I say. I say it all the time. “What isn’t surrealness?” and really that’s all you have to ask. If you just say that to yourself all day you understand really. And I’m pretty sure if you never say surrealness you probably dont know what it’s about.