Girl: Please don’t rape me!
Guy named Please:
Teacher: Are you fucking serious?
Girl named Serious:
Teacher: Are you fucking done?
Girl named Done:
Teacher: Are you fucking for real?
Girl named For Real:
Teacher: Please stop fucking everything up.
Girl named Everything Up:
Teacher: Can you stop fucking fooling around?
Girl named Fooling Around:
Teacher: Can you stop fucking joking?
Girl named Joking:
Teacher: Stop fucking cheating!
Girl named Cheating:
Teacher: Stop fucking stealing!
Girl named Stealing:
Teacher: Stop fucking yelling!
Girl names Yelling:
Teacher: Stop fucking sleeping!
Girl named Sleeping:
I am such a comedic genius that it’s utterly, quintessentially inconceivable how I failed my audition at the Laugh Factory. Absolute fucking injustice.