So today I (34 M) (600 lbs) was eating at my local McDonald’s and decided to murder everyone in my vicinity (lmao). It all started when I (34 M) (600 lbs) got in my 1680 horse-powered caravan, and began the 9,999 mi trek to my local McDonald’s to get their newest addition of the triple-quadruple-septillion deluxe quadruple-triple pounder Cheetos Big Mac (lmao). Using star navigation, I (34 M) (600 lbs) arrived at my location within a mere 6 seconds (lmao). Unfortunately, upon arrival, my two horses Ben (1 M) and Trooper (1 M) collapsed and I (34 M) (600 lbs) ate their corpses (lmao). When I (34 M) (600 lbs) went in the McDonald’s, the aroma of pickles and cheese made me delightfully void my bowels into my pants (Khaki) (Size 400 Waist) (lmao). (No, I do not wear underwear (lmao)). After this, I (34 M) (600 lbs) walked up to the counter, asked for the triple-quadruple-septillion deluxe quadruple-triple pounder Cheetos Big Mac w/ quadruple fries, and sat down Indian style on the floor in my newly shat pants (Khaki) (Size 400 Waist) (lmao). When the order was done I (34 M) (600 lbs) grabbed it, opened the wrapping, and instantly bit into it (lmao). At this moment, I (34 M) (600 lbs) tasted onions, which I (34 M) (600 lbs) detest, and specially asked for none of (lmao). So I (34M) (600 lbs) grabbed my GAU-8 Avenger gatling rotary cannon from my belt holster (Liscenced Owner) and killed everyone (lmao). After that, I (34 M) (600 lbs) ran to the back of the restaurant, stole all of the money out of the registers, and ate all of their Big Mac’s. (lmao). When my feeding was done my tummy started rumbling and I (34 M) (600 lbs) unfortunately proceeded to eat all of the corpses in the restaurant (lmao). After that, I (34 M) (600 lbs) ran back home to my cave (Located at the top of Mt. Kilamanjaro in Tanzania) and proceeded to diarrhea everyone out and then eat them again. So Reddit, AITA (lmao)?