This falls under my grand theory that almost everyone is gay. Straight women love penis, and that’s gay. Straight men love straight women, who we already established are gay, so they are gay by the associative property. Gay men – clearly gay. Bisexuals all love penis, and that’s gay. Only lesbians don’t like penis, which is fine, but they’re lesbians, which is pretty much the same as being gay.

Gay all the way down.