I don’t blame the federal reserve or the government. I blame each and every one of you. Yes, YOU. All of you closet debt wannabes.

You guys complain about inflation, but I can’t get a reservation for a nice restaurant on a Friday night without calling well in advance. I have to wait 25 minutes at the drive-thru on a Monday morning to get my iced caramel latte at Starbucks.

Those of you with kids and a $900 car payment on $60k a year have no business enjoying the finer things in life as I do. You guys are the reason for inflation, are the reason for the everything bubble, are making Jerome Powell’s life harder, and only wrecking yourselves.

There is no reason for the Chick-Filet drive-thru to be wrapped around the god damn city on a Thursday at 3 pm. Don’t any of you jerk off at work? Ever heard of fasting? You’ll lose some weight and save some money. You will live, I promise!

I hope Daddy Powell does a 100 basis point rate hike next and stone-cold stunners all of you