I do feel some empathy for the lad in the hooded ahegao sweater, but I must admit his major flaw in handling this particular situation.

You see, once attacked, any true intellectual such as myself would have immediately begun masturbating.

This leads one to develop an advanced battle tactic known as “masochism”. It is used to effectively negate any negative feelings caused by battle, to boost morale, and God forbid, in the the case of a loss, to remove any feeling of humiliation caused by the results of the duel.

I advise that anybody going through similar troubles as me and the drooling face-clad lad try this tactic. Please, do remember it may or may not work immediately, as this is a very advanced skill and must be learned through intense training.