Ok so I have to use a parachute as a condom because how large my schlong is. But you may ask “what about the whole at the top of a parachute?” Well guess fucking what? My sperm are gigantic 50 pound steel balls with tails that can’t fit through tiny holes like those fuckers. My penis is so girthy that I actually have to have a small crowd of people to Jack me off just so I don’t destroy my own fucking house. My semen then acts like a subsurface missile that reaches far further than any long distance missile ever created in human history. I could easily destroy China if I aimed correctly. Also, have you ever wondered why the moon was so white? Yeah exactly.