You blow your second load of the day and think you’re hot shit but you ain’t. Let me tell you what a real coomer looks like. Yesterday at noon I had already squeezed out five. Fifth felt like trying to stroke out dried cement from an empty balloon. It wasn’t white or even yellow anymore, it was striped red. By that point my foreskin had begun to bleed and my shaft had developed a rash, so every stroke was painful as hell. But I still went for more. Why? Because I love this country. I’ve been funding dozens of bright young Americans by ad revenue alone, while you keep your adblock on while wiggling your micropenis for some East European skank. That’s the difference between you and me. I’ve splurged red-and white stripes on every bathroom wall I’ve come across to honor this great nation, while all you do is wave your crusty white sock of surrender. But I’m still stroking, and every single day my cock bleeds for America.