(note that, to post this on discord, you have to split it into three messages. this is why there are gaps in it; they’re where you can divide the message)

Knuckles in Tom Clancy’s Sid Meier’s Mike Tyson’s Re: Final The Legend Of The Mega Super Everything™©®℗℠ Kart Party Battle 3D World Adventure Land Club XV Rising: Revengeance Summertime High School A Young Man’s Notes – How a New Exchange Student Like Myself Ran Into His Childhood Friend On The School Tour, Then For Some Reason Became Super-Popular With The Girls For His Daily Scoops On The School Photography Club Even Though He Only Takes Panty Shots, And What He Thinks As He Goes On Dates During His Summer Of Island School Life 358/2 days & Knuckles FireGold HeartRuby OmegaRed: The Movie: The Game featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series Director’s Cut releasing 20XX New HD Turbo 2.5.0 Returns Edition DX 3D Ultra’s Revenge: Chaotix: Soul OS EX: Vice City ONLINE – Episode 3 – Return to Dreamland: Awakening: Origins: Legends – The Prelude (Final Mix): Generations: Infinite – X 63 1/2 All Stars Battle Royale At The Olympic Games (MEAN BEAN Edition) Lightning R.E.T.U.R.N.S Ultimate Vs. Godzilla: Breath Of The Ocarina Of Gamelon: 2K15: Legend Of The Seven Stars: Battle Network 2: 3rd Strike With Motion Control: Game Of The Year 10th Anniversary of First Anniversary Edition (PAL Version) 20XX Edition xXCompetitiveEditionXx Remastered Blackbox Version Complete Edition Expansion: Story Mode: The Prequel: The Sequel: Major League Version (Vergil available for DLC)
Gotta Catch ‘Em All™
A Hideo Kojima game
Co-developed by SEGA
Sponsored by Capcom & Super Video Game Company Bros
Featuring an exclusive OST by famous composer Hirokoji Kondowano

Only on Nintendo Switch, PC (Steam, Desura, GOG, Origin, G2A Sponsorship coming soon), Linux (Note: Only runnable through Wine and/or Beer), not Mac because fuck Mac Users, Games for Windows Live, Xbox One, Xbox One S, PS4, PS4 Pro, Xbox 360, PS3, Wii U, Wii, Wii Mini, 3DS, New 3DS, 2DS, 3DS XL, New 3DS, DS, DS Lite, DSi, DSi XL, GameBoy Advance, GameBoy Advance SP, GameBoy Advance: Unauthorized Clone Version, GameBoy Color, GameBoy, Xbox, PSP, PS Vita, PS2, PS1, Gamecube, N64, 64DD, SNES, NES, Famicom, Sega Master System, Genesis, Sega CD, 3DO, Sega Saturn, Sega Neptune, Nintendo E-Shop Virtual Console, Virtual Boy, CD-i, Wonderswan, OUYA, Neo Geo Pocket, Neo Geo X Gold, Game & Watch, N-Gage, and Toilet Seat (Toaster Version coming this Fall after $5,000,000 stretch goal)
“10/10, Accessible for everyone, and really heckin’ fun” – Game Informer
“10/10, the best thing we’ve ever played” – GameSpot
“7.8/10, too little title length” – IGN
“Five Stars. Out of two” – Playstation Magazine
“6/10, not as good as everyone says” – Kotaku
“I-Don’t-Give-Ending-Scores/10, makes me beat meat monsters both in and out of Binding Of Isaac” – Zero Punctuation
“38/40, would confuse someone trying to figure out how many Metacritic points this is again” – Famitsu
“10/10” – Nintendo Power
“7/10, I only somewhat like this game and I’ll give it whatever the fuck I want.” – Jim Sterling
“10/10, this game is fuck-awful not unlike BrashGames and its CEO Paul Ryan (Not That One)” – BrashGames
“7/7, this game scares me out of my seat” – Arlo
“100/10, will be hopping onto this cashcow” – Game Theory
“10/10, I’m writing five original songs based on it as we speak” – Nathan Sharp
“9/10, perfect game” – Craig Horwood from Strictly Come Dancing
“1,000,000/0.1, bset game ewver!”!!!!1!!!!!!!” – Random YouTube commenter we asked
Rated 107 on Metacritic

Now includes magnifying glass to read the box with
Rated M for Manly by ESRB
Rated T for Testosterone by PEGI
Rated W for What Is This Rating System by CERO
Only at GameStop (Bonus Steelbook with Preorder), GAME, EBGames, Best Buy, CEX, Toys ‘R’ Us, and Walmart
Cross buy includes Downloadable Version for the PS Vita System
Playable in 2D and 3D. 3D mode for ages 7+. See back.
WARNING: Virtual Boy Edition can cause general motion sickness, nausea, headaches, epileptic fits, dental problems, erectile dysfunction, eye cancer, and mild back pain. Only play under parental supervision and doctor’s advisory