This isn’t just Reddit, it’s the internet’s stupid Ron Swanson esque ideas of masculinity, where if you enjoy anything less than a single glass batch beer you have to get by hand paddling 200 miles across the ocean to a shack floating on the water to get, it’s obviously piss water (nevermind the fact that Reddit makes a point of shitting on the most universally popular beers in the country/world, and there’s a reason they’re so popular, because despite what they would have you think, people actually do enjoy them, imagine that??! People liking what they like without shitting down everyone else’s throat who likes something different?! That’s just not realistic)

And along the same lines you have steak.. enjoy it more done than medium rare? You’ve obviously destroyed this sacred piece of sustenance and deserve to be strung up by your toes.. in fact if you eat it at any point more than 3.2 seconds per side in a searing hot pan, you should probably just cut your dick off and return it to your wife, because you don’t know how to handle it, and don’t even get me started on using any seasoning other than salt and pepper, ketchup? A1? Instant death penalty

Coffee? If that shit isn’t as black as holes within the people who make these stupid fucking rules souls, you’re basically not even drinking coffee, just go get a fucking milkshake you pussy. Oh you want to ENJOY SOMETHING?!? instead of choking down a cup of disgusting black bullshit in the morning to wake up? There’s obviously something wrong with you, you clearly don’t enjoy things the RIGHT way. As in, some of the least inspired most insanely restrictive and in many cases, least enjoyable ways to have certain things.

But a 15 year old on the internet told me my coffee was for girls and my steaks rarity was for Pussies and my beer was pisswater even though it’s literally all they’ve ever had so much as a sip of. So obviously they know how to do it right, now let’s parrot this same bullshit anytime anyone mentions any remotely popular beer, or any kind of steak, or even shows a slightly lighter colored cup of coffee, shit even if there’s so much as a single grain of sugar on the rim of the cup

Fuck I hate the internet