I’m a researcher in astrophysics. It’s been 12 years since I had any friends. My parents call to check in on me, and I snarl, “do you even KNOW another probability models aside from BAYESIAN?” and hang up, sobbing. My husband has been quietly preparing our divorce papers for months, but I’ve barely noticed because every time he opens his mouth to talk to me, I maniacally laugh and berate his ignorance over not knowing the difference between Laplace’s equation in spherical coordinates and cylindrical coordinates. I’ve got a court date because I haven’t declared my taxes in two years — every time, I just fill in my form by writing nonsensical attempts at deriving Schrödinger’s equation, but instead of writing H for the Hamiltonian operator (which NO ONE understands what it even IS, except for me) I just write HAHAHAHA to make fun of the plebs at the tax offices who read it. Clearly, I am superior, and my life is logically perfect.