Every morning, at exactly 5:15 AM, the United States government uses the air raid sirens to wake everyone up. It is illegal to be asleep past 6 in the morning: those who do, tend to vanish without a trace. I have no idea why such a bizarrely specific law even exists.


At 8:00 AM, Prime Premier Jefforey Bezon (Jeff Bezos’ clone) makes a daily State Of The Union address. “We must remain vigilant, and expand the Free Empire of Amerika!”; he’d say.


All citizens are subjected to a “Breathing Tax” and an annual “Morality Beating”.

The breathing tax is a 5¢ charge for each individual breath that you take. If you don’t pay the tax at the end of the year, the microchip in your brain instantly kills you and turns your body into fertilizer.

The morality beating always happens the day before your birthday. Masked, insanely strong individuals will beat you to death and revive you with advanced medical technology (provided by Amazon Prime™). They will kill you over and over again for 7 hours, before finally kicking you out of a moving car while they drive you home.