I don’t know when this trend started, but it was weird then and it’s weird now. Every time I go to Pornhub for a wank it’s always “oops, my step brother fucked me” or “mother teaches son how to fuck” and I sigh and take my dick out. Again.

I get it. They’re living together and family suggests some built in power dynamics, but I miss seeing a boss fuck his secretary for a promotion. Or a secretary fucking some guy who has to see her boss but she won’t let him pass until he fucks her. I’m a simple man, I like girl on girl, girl in charge, guy in charge, but when I saw a chick demand that her “stepbrother” wipe her ass only to OF COURSE, fall into his dick and “can’t get up” I almost threw my laptop across my room with my free hand.

Doesn’t anyone want to fuck their roommate, half lodged in a wall anymore? Or have a party bus full of sorority girls pick up a rando in their van because they spilled beer all over their toys and need him to lick it off? Can’t we have a contortionist fuck her manager and lick his asshole with her impressive flexibility? Isn’t it time to move on?

Let’s all jerk off better people.