Freshman year in high school, straight up Greg heffley moment. My crush at the time was looking at me, and smiling. She was wearing this push up bra and a skintight shirt (didn’t know her titties were actually smaller when I saw them a few years later.. big disappointment tbh) I made eye contact, and smiled. She giggled, and blushed, I could see it, her friends were talking about how “good looking and sweet” I was, however this would soon vanish when the sexual thoughts attacked my frontal lobe. BOOM! Out of no where, the largest log the class has ever seen started to awake like a garden snake out of hibernation. This was no garden snake however, for the reticulated python was starting to pierce through my shorts in front of the whole class. There I was, my giant Shlong making its presence known in my maroon red AFJROTC Shorts. I was embarrassed, but kept pushing on with my presentation, thinking about Jesus to try and make my boner disappear. It was too late, the whole class had born witness to my throbbing erection. My crush, who I thought would be laughing had the most shocked look on her face. My teacher, shocked that I was still up there and not running out of the class, nodded in respect as he told me to cut the presentation short, and find my seat. My boner, now dissipating, me coming to my senses and realizing how embarrassing this journey was. The class was silent, for the rest of the day, knowing how me, instead of trying to hide my erection, decided to assert its presence to the crowd. Years later, I saw my crush naked. I was too embarrassed to ask her out for years after my penis basically broke physics within my shorts in the class. I know now, why she actually liked me, hoes just want the dick man. That is my story, and I stick by it every fucking day.