Unfortunately Guy Fieri doesn’t let just anyone near his asshole.


He’s shitting into your mouth at the speed of a Japanese bullet train. Your mouth overflows with putrid diarrhea. A wet popping sound penetrates your eardrums as he farts out the last flecks of shit all over your eyes. The smell hits your nose and the back of your throat like a truck and you begin to vomit uncontrollably.


“BULLET TRAIN TO FLAVORTOWN, RIGHT?!” he yells as his penis becomes mildly erect.