Wait a second, what did you just say? They did surgery on a grape? Oh my god, throughout the whole 32 years and a half that I’ve lived I’ve never heard of something so amazing and ridiculous, yet ridiculous in a good way. A few years ago we would’ve not had access to the thin mobile phones created by companies and corporations like Apple and Samsung and Google, let alone this amazing intricate fragile tiny technology that allows us to do surgery on tiny fruits. I still can’t believe it. I saw the video, the numerous tiny algorithms and machines that open up and slice up the grape to do an miniature operation on the plant. The numerous text on it surrounding it saying “THEY DID SURGERY ON A GRAPE.” I saw them. All of them. Yet I still could not believe that they did surgery on a grape. Two hours later I’m bored at work and imagine that I was the grape. Imagine being tiny and getting operated on. I imagined the grape screaming in pain as the machine ripped through its primary external layers, or its ‘skin’. I ponder where that grape came from, how was it like on the grape farms? I asked myself, I was curious how it was different from the lab it was operated in. The farms had the sun blaring on the plant, nourishing it. It slowly grew from a flower to a fruit, a form of reproduction for plants that humans exploited to create food, after of course domesticating the plants. Then suddenly, you fall from your mothership, the plant. You say goodbye to the familiar feeling of the stem connecting you with the plant. Although fruits do not have any complex kind of organ, I always imagine them to be independent living beings, but I still acknowledge that they are not alive, just a part of something that was alive, almost like chopping your finger off. Would it be alive? No! The same is with fruits. Yet I have a wild imagination so I always imagine fruits screaming and yelling in agony as I bite through them, it really gives me a sense of power, y’know? Their desperate begging, them yelling the name of their mothers and gods, until suddenly the fruit fall silent and their screaming stops and their friends and peers and family cry for them and plead me to stop mid-sob really makes me feel good. Pumpkin carving is especially fun, as the other pumpkins fearfully watch as I pull the organs and flesh off their bodies after I made a hole in their head, and start carving their skin off with a sharp tool. It really satisfies me. And although Karen says this is why I don’t have friend, I say this to her in return, FUCK YOU KAREN! Anyways, as you imagine, the video was pretty pleasing for me to watch, and I hope they do more surgeries for grapes.