I wrote this down on my phone on the day I tried to kill myself. I said:

It’s only 9pm, I just got home, spent all day with people, and yet I feel so alone. This pain in my heart just gets worse everyday, and it won’t go away. The more my friends tried to make me laugh, the more I realized I’ll never feel that happiness that they feel from life. For them it’s so easy to have fun, to be happy, why is it so easy? I don’t wanna do this anymore, I don’t wanna be alive, I wanna die.

And I wrote that on the night I almost killed myself. It’s really hard to read.