McDonalds is an underground socialist organization dedicated to training and equipping socialist guerrillas in Iran with the objective of destabilizing America’s position in the Middle East in order to fund a homegrown socialist revolution. This is why major health organizations tell you not to eat at McDonalds. In reality, their food is a cheap, and healthy alternative to the capitalist Wendy’s. If it weren’t for the word of major health organizations lobbying against McDonald’s, we would have withdrawn from Somalia, Syria, and Afghanistan and suffered a crippling loss in the War on Terrorism. Islamic Socialist Republics would spread across the west, fueled by a socialist foreign policy that utilized child labor, artificial ingredients and worst of all: overly obese lazy fucks in their upper class mansions. Democracy would capitulate and revolutions would spread across the nation. McDonalds puts on a facade of capitalism to hide the underlying truth about their company. It is a corrupt, underground’s secret Islamic socialist republic dedicated to undermining the very fabric of American society. So this is a fair warning to all my fellow Americans: don’t buy from McDonalds. Head to Wendy’s! Where quality is our recipe!