*read in Burger King foot lettuce voice*
Goblin from Clash Of Clans ruined my life

It all started when Goblin from Clash Of Clans came to my house and stole all of my possessions, he even stole the bricks from my house and then replaced them somewhere else. I am now homeless and live under a bridge. Goblin from Clash Of Clans also stole my 1976 Impala and then crashed into my mother’s retirement home because he is a midget and could not properly reach the brake pedal. He also stole my identity and now my family thinks he is me. Even though he is green and cannot speak english, my wife and children still live with him; I am starting to think they like goblin from Clash Of Clans more than me. He has also stolen my wife’s and children’s clothes and food and now they are starving and freezing to death (they still prefer him over me). Goblin from Clash Of Clans has also ripped off my face from me and stitched his green face on me, so now I look like Goblin from Clash Of Clans. I am starting to doubt that I am even me instead of Goblin from Clash Of Clans; I feel like he has passed the mantle of Goblin from Clash Of Clans to me and it is my duty to rob everyone blind like he did to me. Now that you think about it, we are all Goblin from Clash Of Clans and live in a society created by Goblin from Clash Of Clans.