You fools! You absolute, utter fools! Don’t you see?


No, of course you don’t – IQ-wise, you are but a lowly peasant. It’s not Rick and Morty that intellectuals like myself watch. It’s Peppa Pig.


At first glance, the humour may seem childish – crude, even. As a result, Rick and Morty fans may scoff at the mere suggestion that Peppa Pig is superior to their pathetically beloved show. However, what you don’t understand is Peppa Pig isn’t just a children’s TV show. It’s commentary on modern society – and satiric commentary, at that. For instance, take the remark Peppa Pig frequently makes: “I love muddy puddles”. Don’t worry if its nuanced undertones went over your head; that just means your IQ simply isn’t high enough for you to have the mental capacity to process those four artfully crafted words. But the phrase “I love muddy puddles” is exquisitely well-executed, despite what you halfwits might think. It’s a poignant reflection of the almost foolish naivety so common in young children, and long-time connoisseurs of Peppa Pig such as myself are more than aware of this fact. It is not just children but adults who appreciate the vastly academic nature of such a show – adults whose IQs far exceed the average Harvard professor’s.


I apologise. You’re probably confused by all these big words I’m using. Don’t worry, that’s normal for the simpletons and morons that make up 99.99% (if I am to be generous in my calculations) of the human population.


On another note, I am currently writing a Peppa Pig fanfiction. It will be a 750,000-word erotic epic, the first in a twenty-book saga.