i just stepped on a frog

LOL YOU SHOULDVE SEEN THE LOOK ON THE LITTLE AMPHIBIANS FACE AS HE SAW MY GIANT SIZE 12 CLEATS RAINING DOWN UPON HIM

THERE WAS NO HOPE FOR HIM AS THE SPIKES OF MY FOOTWEAR RIPPED APART HIS SKELETAL SYSTEM

AS MY FOOT NEARED THE BOTTOM OF THE CONCRETE, THE FROGS SKULL SHATTERED INTO MILLIONS OF FRAGMENTS AND YOU COULD HEAR THE CRACKING OF ITS SPINE

AS SOON AS I LIFTED MY FOOT OFF THE GROUND, BLOOD WAS SPILLED EVERYWHERE FOLLOWED BY A FORMATION OF ANTS LINED UP TO GO FEAST ON THE POOR LITTLE FROGS CORPSE


this little kid at the daycare tripped

AS HE FELL HE BROKE EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY AND WAS SENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM

THE AMBULANCE HE WAS TAKEN IN GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND DROVE OFF A 100FT CLIFF INTO AN ORPHANAGE FOR BABY FROGS

YOU SHOULDVE SEEN THE LOOK ON THE BABY FROGS FACE AS THEY SAW THE GIANT AMBULANCE TRUCK RAINING DOWN UPON THEM

THERE WAS NO HOPE FOR THE BABY FROGS AS THE TRUCK LANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DENSE AREA AND WITHIN LESS THAN A SECOND BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED THE ENTIRE POPULATION

AFTER THE TRUCK LANDED ON TOP OF THE BABY FROGS, YOU COULD HEAR THE DEAD FROGS SQUEAKING AS THEIR SOULS BEGIN BEING SUCKED OUT OF THEIR BODIES

i went to a muppets play for a fieldtrip

AS I PULLED OUT MY AR-15 FROM MY BACKPACK AND AIMED AT KERMIT THERE WERE SCREAMS FROM EVERY ANGLE OF THE THEATER

I RAN TO THE FRONT ROW AND STARTED UNLOADING MY CLIP INTO THE FROG

WITH THE TASTE OF FROG BLOOD IN MY SYSTEM, I REACHED IN MY POCKET FOR A GRENADE AND THREW IT AT THE SORROW CORPSE OF KERMIT

I JUMPED ON TOP OF THE DEAD FROG, FACE-FIRST, I BEGAN LEECHING AT THE FROGS INTERNAL ORGANS

BLOOD WAS SPEWING FROM ITS EYES, ITS WASTE LEAKED OUT OF ITS UNDERCARRIAGE

MY TASTE FOR FROG BLOOD HAD BEEN SATISFIED FOR NOW, BUT NOT FOR LONG


i found a frog in my backyard

AS I BEGIN POURING GASOLINE ALONG MY GRASS, A MENACING FROG APPEARS STARING AT ME IN THE FACE

MY MUSCLES INSTANTLY TENSE UP AND MY ADRENALINE BOOSTS

I WHIP OUT MY FFO GNIKREJ TRATS DNA RENIEW

AS MY EYES BEGIN TO FLINCH, THE FROG CREEPS CLOSER TOWARDS ME

THE FROG JUMPS ON TOP OF MY FACE AND BEGINS TO HTUOM YM ETALOIV

HE BUSTED A NUT BUT I KEPT SUCKING, SO HE FORCEFULLY SGGE YM SEZILITREF