My mom and grandma have been giving me shit because they say that taking showers without washing my hair doesn’t count. Look, I’m not some kind of Redditor neckbeard that doesn’t bathe. I shower at least three times a week, maybe a little less, but I don’t spend all of my time on Reddit or watching anime. I’m a quirky, wholesome guy, and I just happen to live in my mom’s basement.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I’ll explain why I don’t wash my hair. Covid’s been pretty rough on this lad’s expenses, so I’ve had to make some budget cuts. Before you guess, no, I can afford shampoo. However, my favorite jerking off lotion skyrocketed in price, so I’ve been reduced to using my hair grease as lube. It’s actually pretty awesome, and even when Covid is over I’ll probably keep my hair greasy and keep jerking off like a well-oiled machine. Even better, if I accidentally wipe cum in my hair, my mom and grandma think it’s dandruff, which is kind a bruh moment, amirite?

In short, AITA for using my oily scalp as locally sourced lube for pleasuring myself?