My work started the same campaign (probably to lower health insurance rates, because they don’t give a shit about us.)

If we eat six vegetables a day we get 10 minutes of PTO that we can use once it reaches 8 hours total. It takes like 2 months to accumulate just one day of PTO. The real kicker is you have to bring the vegetables into work, eat them and have a manager sign off on your 10 minutes.

Most people gave up after a week after seeing all of the rules and work you have to do just to accumulate 1 day off.

Not me. I’ve been bringing in 6 heads of fucking cabbage, eating them throughout the day, chomping on that premium lettuce for that PTO I probably won’t get because no one is participating and the company decides to cancel it.

Nope not me. I smell like cabbage, when I sweat it smells like sauerkraut. I feel better than ever though. My poops are small and efficient like a rabbit turd. I’m losing weight since I don’t eat outside of work because despite being like 0 calories it’s difficult as fuck to eat 6 heads of cabbage.

My manager told me to switch vegetables but I’d really just prefer to bring in a backpack full of fucking cabbage to work everyday despite the complaints from Sharon. If you think I smell like cabbage Sharon maybe just stay away.

I’m getting my day off Sharon go fuck yourself