I always keep an encyclopaedia next to me when I masturbate, as well as a stack of flash cards. If the dark gods materialise in their weiner dog head form, I can quickly act as though I got so caught up in my studies that it aroused me. I shout out “Fuck yes, algebra!” and only then do I pretend to see the ghostly, judgemental faces floating beside me. Most of the time it works a treat, I’ve only been punished twice for disobedience despite doing this trick for years, so give it a shot next time