Well, the goal of trolling is to make someone mad. So properly trolling someone is the art of pissing them off.

With this in mind, everything you say should be geared towards pissing the target off, not winning the argument. Hell, winning the argument can fuck you over, because your victim will stop engaging you.

This can be very difficult. But if done right, you can even make it look like you’re legitimately trying to beat them in an argument. When done masterfully, you can even make yourself look like the victim of their butthurt to any onlookers.

There’s no step-by-step guide, but I can offer some tips.

* Never take any bait they offer. If they say something which you know is factually untrue, don’t bother responding with evidence of that. Instead, subtly insult them.
* Never act mad. Always act concerned and friendly. Tell them you’re sure they’re quite smart. Insist that this is just a difference of opinion. Flirt with them if they’re homophobic.
* If they insult you, agree with it. Just roll with any punches that come your way.
* Stay humble. Arrogance can be infuriating, but arrogance hiding behind false humility can breed a rage the likes of which your victim has never before experienced.
* Lie your ass off. Seriously. Integrity is a drawback for trolling. Just make shit up.
* If you ever feel the need to type “AHAHAHAHA” in response to anything they said, _you’re_ the one being trolled in that moment.
* Frequently deny having said things you just said. When they confront you with a quote, respond that they’ve taken it out of context and insist you meant something vaguely related to what you actually said.
* Seriously, flirt with them if they’re homophobic. This is like a cheat code, it’s so effective. Get graphic with your euphemisms. “I’d like some more of your rock hard evidence to open my tight little mind…”
* Always accuse them of the failings (real or imagined) of whatever side of the argument you’ve taken. If you’re arguing from a left-wing political view, accuse them of being an elitist, say they’re not in touch with working class whites, etc. If you’re arguing from a position of atheism, accuse them of being duped by a conspiracy, being cynical and lacking morals.
* Occasionally contradict something you previously argued vociferously. Deny that what you’re saying now contradicts it.
* “Just look around you!” is always a valid substitute for evidence.
* Subtle insults are better than obvious ones.
* Funny insults are better than angry ones.
* Attack positions they support from an extreme version of their own viewpoint, forcing them to defend them from a moderate version of your assumed viewpoint. Then accuse them of having an extreme version of your own viewpoint.
* Change subjects frequently. Insist that you’re still discussing the same thing.
* On anonymous forums (or with an alt account), attack them from two different angles while having your two personas agree with the most outrageous statements each other make.