In congress, july 4, 1776

da unanimous declaration o’ da thirteen united states o’ america


When the fuck in da course o’ huthug events dat shit becomes necessary fo’ one people ta dissolve da political bands which have connected ’em wit’ anotha n’ ta assume among da powers o’ da earth, da separate n’ equal station ta which da laws o’ nature n’ o’ naturez dogg entitle ’em, a decent respect ta da opinions o’ mankind requires dat they should declare da causes which impel ’em ta da separation.

we hold dem truths ta be self-evident, dat all thugs r’ created equal, dat they r’ endowed by their muthafuckin’ creator wit’ certain unalienable rights, dat among dem r’ life, liberty n’ tha pursuit o’ happinizz. — dat ta secure dem rights, governments r’ instituted among thugs, derivin’ their muthafuckin’ just powers from tha consent o’ tha governed, — dat wheneva any form o’ government becomes destructive o’ dem ends, dat shit be tha right o’ tha people ta alta or ta abolish dat shit, n’ ta institute new government, layin’ itz foundation on such principles n’ organizin’ itz powers in such form, as ta ’em shall seem most likely ta effect their muthafuckin’ safety n’ happinizz. Prudence, indeed, gotta dictate dat governments long established should not be changed fo’ light n’ transient causes; n’ accordingly all experience hath shewn dat mankind r’ mo’ disposed ta suffer, while evils r’ sufferable than ta right themselves by abolishin’ da forms ta which they r’ accustomed. N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but When the fuck a long train o’ abuses n’ usurpations, pursuin’ invariably da same object evinces a design ta reduce ’em unda absolute despotism, dat shit be their muthafuckin’ right, dat shit be their muthafuckin’ duty, ta throw off such government, n’ ta provide new guards fo’ their muthafuckin’ future security. — such has been da patient sufferance o’ dem colonies; n’ such be naw da necessity which constrains ’em ta alta their muthafuckin’ forma systems o’ government. Tha history o’ tha present mackdaddy o’ great britain be a history o’ repeated injuries n’ usurpations, all havin’ in direct object tha establishment o’ an absolute tyranny ova dem states. Ta prove dis, let facts be submitted ta a candid ghetto.

dude has refused his muthafuckin’ assent ta laws, tha most wholesome n’ necessary fo’ tha public wack.

dude has forbidden his muthafuckin’ governors ta pass laws o’ immediate n’ pressin’ importance, unless suspended in their muthafuckin’ operation till his muthafuckin’ assent should be obtained; n’ When the fuck so suspended, dude has utterly neglected ta attend ta ’em.

dude has refused ta pass otha laws fo’ da accommodation o’ large districts o’ people, unless dem people would relinquish da right o’ representation in da legislature, a right inestimable ta ’em n’ formidable ta tyrants only.

dude has called togetha legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, n’ distant from tha depository o’ their muthafuckin’ public records, fo’ tha sole purpose o’ fatiguin’ ’em da fuck into compliance wit’ his muthafuckin’ measures.

dude has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, fo’ opposin’ wit’ manly firmnizz his muthafuckin’ invasions on da rights o’ da people.

dude has refused fo’ a long time, afta such dissolutions, ta cause others ta be elected, whereby tha legislative powers, incapable o’ annihilation, have returned ta tha people at large fo’ their muthafuckin’ exercise; tha state remainin’ in tha mean time exposed ta all tha dangers o’ invasion from without, n’ convulsions within.

dude has endeavoured ta prevent tha population o’ dem states; fo’ dat purpose obstructin’ tha laws fo’ naturalization o’ foreigners; refusin’ ta pass others ta encourage their muthafuckin’ migrations hither, n’ raisin’ tha conditions o’ new appropriations o’ lands.

dude has obstructed tha administration o’ justice by refusin’ his muthafuckin’ assent ta laws fo’ establishin’ judiciary powers.

dude has made judges dependent on his muthafuckin’ gotta alone fo’ tha tenure o’ their muthafuckin’ offices, n’ tha amount n’ payment o’ their muthafuckin’ salaries.

dude has erected a multitude o’ new offices, n’ sent hitha swarms o’ officers ta harass our people n’ smoke out their muthafuckin’ substance.

dude has kept among us, in times o’ peace, standin’ armies without tha consent o’ our legislatures.

dude has affected ta renda tha military independent o’ n’ superior ta tha civil powa.

dude has combined wit’ others ta subject us ta a jurisdiction foreign ta our constitution, n’ unacknowledged by our laws; givin’ his muthafuckin’ assent ta their muthafuckin’ acts o’ pretended legislation:

fo’ quarterin’ large bodies o’ armed troops among us:

fo’ protectin’ ’em, by a mock trial from punishment fo’ any murders which they should commit on tha inhabitants o’ dem states:

fo’ cuttin’ off our trade wit’ all parts o’ tha ghetto:

fo’ imposin’ taxes on us without our consent:

fo’ deprivin’ us in shitload o’ cases, o’ tha benefit o’ trial by jury:

fo’ transportin’ us beyond seas ta be tried fo’ pretended offences:

fo’ abolishin’ tha free system o’ gangsta laws in a neighbourin’ province, establishin’ therein an arbitrary government, n’ enlargin’ itz boundaries so as ta renda dat shit at once an example n’ fit instrument fo’ introducin’ tha same absolute rule da fuck into dem colonies

fo’ takin’ away our charters, abolishin’ our most valuable laws n’ alterin’ fundamentally tha forms o’ our governments:

fo’ suspendin’ our own legislatures, n’ declarin’ themselves invested wit’ powa ta legislate fo’ us in all cases whatsoeva.

dude has abdicated government here, by declarin’ us out o’ his muthafuckin’ protection n’ wagin’ wa against us.

dude has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, n’ destroyed da lives o’ our people.

dude be at dis time transportin’ large armies o’ foreign mercenaries ta compleat da works o’ dirtnap, desolation, n’ tyranny, already begun wit’ circumstances o’ cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in da most barbarous ages, n’ totally unworthy da head o’ a civilized nation.

dude has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on da high seas ta bea arms against their muthafuckin’ country, ta become da executioners o’ their muthafuckin’ friends n’ brethren, or ta fall themselves by their muthafuckin’ hands.

dude has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, n’ has endeavoured ta brin’ on tha inhabitants o’ our frontiers, tha merciless indian savages whose known rule o’ warfare, be an undistinguished destruction o’ all ages, sexes n’ conditions.

in every stage o’ dem oppressions we have petitioned fo’ redress in da most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A prince, whose characta be thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, be unfit ta be da rula o’ a free people.

nor have we been wantin’ in attentions ta our british brethren. We have warned ’em from time ta time o’ attempts by their muthafuckin’ legislature ta extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction ova us. We have reminded ’em o’ da circumstances o’ our emigration n’ settlement here. We have appealed ta their muthafuckin’ native justice n’ magnanimity, n’ we have conjured ’em by da ties o’ our common kindred ta disavow dem usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections n’ correspondence. They too have been deaf ta tha voice o’ justice n’ o’ consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in da necessity, which denounces our separation, n’ hold ’em, as we hold da rest o’ mankind, enemies in war, in peace friends.

we, therefore, tha representatives o’ tha united states o’ america, in general congress, assembled, appealin’ ta tha supreme judge o’ tha ghetto fo’ tha rectitude o’ our intentions, do, in tha name, n’ by authority o’ tha wack people o’ dem colonies, solemnly publish n’ declare, dat dem united colonies r’, n’ o’ right ought ta be free n’ independent states, dat they r’ absolved from all allegiance ta tha british crown, n’ dat all political connection between ’em n’ tha state o’ great britain, be n’ ought ta be totally dissolved; n’ dat as free n’ independent states, they have full powa ta levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, n’ ta do all otha acts n’ things which independent states may o’ right do. — n’ fo’ da support o’ dis declaration, wit’ a firm reliance on da protection o’ divine providence, we mutually pledge ta each otha our lives, our fortunes, n’ our sacred honor.