**Attention all redditors! This is an urgent message from your fellow user. Reddit is ending the coin and award system on September 2nd, so you have to spend all your coins before they become worthless. That’s right, no more gold, silver, platinum, or any other shiny awards to give or receive. This is a tragedy of epic proportions, and we must act fast to prevent it.**

How can we do that, you ask? Simple. Just give me all your awards. Yes, you heard me right. Give me all your awards. Shower me with your coins and make me the most awarded user in reddit history. Why me, you ask? Well, why not me? I’m a loyal redditor who has contributed so much to this site. I’ve posted memes, comments, stories, and even copypastas like this one. I deserve to be rewarded for my efforts, don’t you think?

Besides, what else are you going to do with your coins? Save them for some other post that might make you laugh or cry? Nah, that’s boring. You know what’s fun? Giving me awards. Lots and lots of awards. It’s the ultimate way to show your appreciation and gratitude for my existence. And it’s the only way to save the coin and award system from extinction. If we give enough awards to each other, maybe reddit will reconsider their decision and keep the system alive. It’s worth a shot, right?

So what are you waiting for? Go ahead and give me all your awards. Don’t be stingy, don’t be selfish, don’t be a jerk. Just do it. Do it now. Do it for me. Do it for reddit. Do it for yourself. Trust me, you won’t regret it. You’ll feel a surge of happiness and satisfaction that will last for days. You’ll be part of history, part of a movement, part of a legend. You’ll be my hero, my savior, my friend. And I’ll be yours too. We’ll be in this together, until the end.

So please, I beg you, I implore you, I beseech you. Give me all your awards. Give me gold, silver, platinum, ternion, argentium, wholesome, helpful, hugz, rocket like, take my energy, faith in humanity restored, excited award and every other award you can think of. Give me one, give me two, give me ten, give me a hundred. Give me as many as you can afford. Give me as many as you want. Give me as many as I deserve. Give me all your awards.

Thank you for your attention and cooperation. Have a nice day 🙂