I decided to attend a Super Smash Bros Melee tournament at the local University. It was going to be a packed house. I put on my Sunday best and had the 1993 Honda Civic washed by the neighbors son. As I rolled up on the main parking lot it noticed that the who’s who of Smash gamers were at this event. How was I going to compete when I was a nobody? All that changed the moment I pulled out my White Classic Smash controller. The gaming crowd went silent and the DJ started freaking out. Within 20 seconds I had six or seven gaming ladies surrounding me. Even the Dean’s wife was all over me. She wanted to lick my C stick and press my start button. I did not even partake in the tournament and I was awarded the grand champion that evening. As I was accepting my Gold Mario amiibo I got a call from Shigeru Miyamoto congratulating me on my performance.