I remember the first time I went to a USC party that Miranda Cosgrove was at.

It was at a frat house and I was hanging out and talking to people when this huge guy, probably around 6’5 came up to me and grabbed me by the shoulder and told me very sternly to “come with me, newblood”. He led me down to the basement, and that’s when I saw her.

She was completely naked, on her hands and knees, on top of a large blue tarp. A single bare lightbulb swung from the ceiling, and two massive football players were fucking her, one in the ass and one in the mouth. Her eyes were rolled into the back of her head, and she was covered in semen. The words “COCKGOBBLER” were scrawled on her forehead in permanent marker . The one fucking her in the mouth bust a nut down her throat, and she swallowed it all. She then started screaming “FUNNY POWDER, FUNNY POWDER” over and over at the top of her lungs. The guy that led me in handed me a ceramic plate covered in cocaine and instructed me to blow some in her face. I bent down in front of her and she coughed up a huge glob of cum onto the tarp and looked at me in the eyes, all while still beng fucked in the ass. I grabbed a handful of cocaine and placing it in my palm, I blew it in her face. I had tears in my eyes and silently mouthed “but you were in iCarly”. I stood up and another massive jock took my spot and started ramming her in the mouth. I then tried to leave but the guy who took me to the room told me “you have to stay until all the coke is gone lardlungs”. I sobbed for the next 3 hours doing my duty until all the men were satisfied and she was passed out in a pool of jizz.

It was the worst night of my life.