I don’t know why.. when i watch a Jesse Eisenberg movie my heart turns into love.. one minute I’m watching Zombieland, next minute it’s paused as I fondle my screen quietly whispering ‘so cute, so cute’.

Whenever I watch his interviews, he’s so shy I wanna go up to him and hug him to make it all better. He’s a cute one.

I remember when I watched Zombieland for the first time, I fell in love with Jesse Eisenberg. Seeing him play this relatible and adorable character got my heart racing.

He plays a lot of shy characters, and he’s so cute and good at them, he makes me wanna hug them so badly, I love him.

Sometimes I hear people say ‘Jesse Eisenberg? Is that the guy from Breaking Bad?’. When that happens, I go off, I scream, I shout because they are insulting my god, my Eisenberg.

I have watched every Jesse Eisenberg movie, from Wild Indian to Adventureland, from The Social Network to 30 Minutes Or Less, every time I see him and listen to his voice, I feel happy, like my life is complete, like I finally have someone to look up to.

My brother stopped me from buying plane tickets to meet him in person, I will never forgive him for that.

Does this make me gay? Or just weird? Please someone help me, I’m minutes away from buying 20 posters of Jesse Eisenberg to hang in my room.