How to sleep in school:

Step 1. You have to make it look like you’re not sleeping, because duh. This is the most important step. You’ll need some tape (or glue works ok too) and some of those googly eyes you can get at a craft store.

Step 2. Take the eyes and glue them to your forehead. Make sure they’re approximately 2 inches apart, and make it look good. No shitty tape jobs.

Step 3. Glue an additional one to the back of your neck, where other people can see it. This lets them know that you’re watching and if they rat you out that you’ll fuck them up.

Step 4. You’ll need some kind of speaker. I find an Amazon Echo Dot works well. Change it from “Alexa” to “Egypt Blaque Lily” so when your teacher calls on you, the Echo will search for the answer and just play it back. So if the question asked is “it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this” your Amazon Echo will respond with “it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss”