I don’t usally use reddit, but this has been on my mind for a while, so here goes. based on: [youtu.be/0wdRQW8WmVI](https://youtu.be/0wdRQW8WmVI)

the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my DICK is throbbing, what a wonderful day for cooming… GOOD MORNING ALEX LYNX. I’ve been awake for twenty whole seconds and I haven’t COOMED yet. It’s time to hop onto my porn throne and machinegun jackhammer my deathgrip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! \*AGGRESSIVE TYPING\* HUH. I-is that a-a female girl!? HHHHNG UH. I- \*begins the ritual\* I MUST SNIFF. MMMMMMMMNNNNFFFFF. NNNNG. AAAAAAGGH. NNNNG. HHNG-RNNG. OH GOD. AAAAAGHHH. UUUUUUH. AAAAAAGH. O-OH FUCK. NNNNNNG. MMMMFFFMNNNNFFF. UGGGH. UUUNG MMMFFFFNNNFFF. AAAAGH \*smashes desk\* I’M… C-COOMING. (coom) I’M… (coom) I’M COOMING (coom) I’M… COOMING. \*creamy suprise starts to emerge\* (coom) I’M (coom) COOMING. I’M COOMING. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH. OOOH FUCK. AAAANNNNHHHGGGG. COOOMING. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. (coom) NO. (coom) NOAAAAAAGH. OH FUCK IT’S EVERYWHERE. (COOOM) AAAAAAAAAAAGH. OHHHHHHH. NNNNGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. \*starts coughing in pleasure\* OH fuck. Nnng. Oh fuck. Oh jesus. Oh shi- oh fuck. SSNNNNIFFF. \*Completely exhausted from the magnitude of the coom\* Oh fuck. ohhhh… ohhhhh. there you are, my slippery white gift to the world. My son… My son… (o-oh fuck) Well, time to get some breakfeast.