Road to Arcturus (Ep. 24) – Fucking bullshit Chariot got no consequences for basically crippling Akko and her magic abilities. Also just a boring conclusion to Croix’s arc altogether. Who even cared for the tumblr character anyway like damn. She still kinda hot though, so not all is bad.

Changing at the end of the world (ep. 25) – One of the worst ways to end a show. Very generic, Disney bullshit way to end a show. The power of friendship saves the day, how bout I shove my cock down your pretty little throats instead.

Papadolia (ep. 2) – Snore-fest. Would rather edge to paint drying.

The fountain of polaris (ep. 6) – Meant to introduce Andrew, but takes too long to get to the point. Cool little reveal of chariot and her steamy red hair though I suppose.

Amanda and the Holy grail (ep. 17) – Why do these Andrew episodes take so long to get to the damn point?! Plus I never wanted to see a male character in this show to begin with. I came for the gay witches.

Blue Moon (ep. 11) – The episode that made me realize I could care less for this show’s mediocre lore and story god I just want to see more Sucy ass.

Intellect and Sensibility (ep. 20) – The conclusion to Diana’s little two episode arc, but nothing else. Really that’s all there is to it. Could’ve used a lesbian sex scene between Diana and her hot Aunt.

Pohjola’s Ordeal (ep. 16) – most people hate this one, but I actually get a couple of laffs from it (mainly from its stupidity though). Seeing Akko in her winter coat makes my nipples jiggle a little bit teehee.

Nightfall (ep. 4) – A Lotte episode where Lotte is the least interesting part of it. She’s not really as hot as her peers.

Pact of the Dragon (ep. 5) – Mainly on here because of Constanze pulling out an RPG.

Samhain Magic festival (ep. 13) – Yeah yeah, character development whatever show me the tribbing already.

Undead Travelogue (ep. 9) – Funny undead pirate is funny, but not as funny as the fact that I haven’t seen a single vagina on this show yet.

Chariot of Fire (ep. 15) – Has that awful pacing problem the series bears with its long, drawn out exposition dumps explaining the plot I don’t give a shit about. However the reveal of Chariot’s juicy cheeks garners this spot on the list.

New Age Magic (ep. 14) – Croix’s debut, but who cares when you’ve got communist Akko. Would be a great alternate persona for a Rule 34 picture.

Wagandia (ep. 21) – A story episode with some legitimately interesting stakes. Damn Trigger how’d you do that? Hopefully this all leads up to female ejaculation in the near future.

What you will (ep. 12) – Was waiting for lesbian sex between Diana and her clone the entire time, but still wasn’t too disappointed by the real outcome.

Yesterday (ep. 23) – The most somber episode in the entire series. A very neat change of pace if I do say so myself. Would’ve been a neat touch to add some sex, but still checks out nonetheless.

Don’t stop me now (ep. 3) – A great introduction to the insanity this series gets into at points. Also I want Akko to stick that broom handle up my astronaut suit in order to prop it upright.

Cavendish (ep. 19) – A perfect way to blend comedy and plot together resulting in a very entertaining episode. Just take Andrew out of it, he spoils the lesbian atmosphere the female characters are so good at emitting.

Stanship Takeoff! (ep. 18) – Constanze finally gets her well-deserved episode. The Guerron Lagan callback was also very cheeky of them to do; even if it didn’t really fit in the show too much. The only thing missing was that bikini bitch with the giant boobs, then the callback would’ve been fuller.

Starting Over (ep. 1) – A great setup to a (somewhat) great show. If only the ending was as good as its beginning…
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Chariot and Croix (ep. 22) – A very controversial episode in my books. On one hand the twist was a huge, unexpected dark turn that contrasts well with the show’s overwhelming positivity. On the other hand it sort of makes no sense and doesn’t even follow up with a well-written confrontation. A very enjoyable episode nonetheless. Wish Chariot would just get naked already.

The Enchanted Parade (OVA #2) – Does this count? I don’t care, it’s basically a stretched episode. A very good one at that. I personally don’t think the simple plot of making a parade garners the length of a short movie, but there’s enough charm to make this rise above most full-length films. An hour of watching lesbian witches is better than an hour of nearly anything else.

Bee affection (ep. 10) – The only shipping episode in existence that gets it right. It really brought the lesbian aspect of this anime to its fullest potential. Wish later episodes followed through with the lesbian arc because in my opinion it was the most interesting one of the series.

Orange submariner (ep. 7) – A great filler episode of Akko just fucking up around school. I wish the show stuck with these slice o’ life shenanigans, but oh well. On a side note: If Akko had to raise her grades by sexing up the professors, that would’ve been one of the most intriguing plot lines I’ve ever witnessed. Maybe Trigger will consider if they reboot the series.

Little Witch Academia (OVA #1) – Holy hell what a thrill ride this shit was. Trigger proves that they exceed with one-off stories, and should honestly focus more on that sort of ordeal. I was also surprised there wasn’t one scissor scene in this chaotic masterpiece.

Akko’s adventure in Sucyworld (ep. 8) – Holy goddamn fuck shit I can’t believe I just went through this entire show and there wasn’t even one legitimate lesbian sex scene that the Fanbase promised. After looking at so many forums, I was led to believe that I was stepping into the most amazing female orgy that Japanese anime has ever spawned. I viewed countless fanart of the characters engaging in sexual conduct, but in the end, that advertising was just bait for us starving lesbian fans to tune in to this disappointing train wreck of an anime. My cock is still throbbing in my pants, and I’ve never been left so unsatisfied in my life. I give this show an 8/10.