Legend has it that if you listen very carefully at night you may just hear a faint “reeee” in the distance, was it just the wind or the anguished crys of an enraged beast, nobody knows. But records show reports of these sounds coincide with times of hardship such as the chicken ‘tender’ shortage of 26 or the honey mustard dipping sauce famine of 67.

It is also said that during these times human like footprints can be seen in the soil and some even report sightings of large hunched over humanoid forms shambling in the woods although no photographic evidence has ever been recorded. Mayhaps this is how the legend of bigfoot originated.

In the winter of 2017 an expedition was launched into the Siberian wilderness to investigate such sightings. Led by the famous explorer Alexander Sellkirk. Over 25 men walked into the woods that day, seeking glory, but alas, the expedition failed to return.

Several months later a lone survivor stumbled from the forests rambling incoherently about “bitch mummy” and “tendies”, he died shortly afterwards from an infection.

Nobody knows for sure what fate befell them but each year on the anniversary of the expedition people say chicken vanishes from their fridges and the smell of sweat and urine permeates the air for a full week. The local villagers of the mladey tribe now offer tributes to this forest spirit, sacrifices some say.

We went along to one of these sacrifices for a world first never before caught on camera glimpse of this appeasement. The locals ceremoniously slit the chickens throat before coating it in a thick honey mustard glaze and left it on a plate in the middle of a forest clearing. We returned the very next day and it was gone, in its place, a fedora, left in recognition of the tribute. And faintly in the distance on the wind we heard the call “M’ladey”. And with that the village elder sighed in relief for he knew they would live another year.