Mmm Canned water. It tastes like water. I love canned water. It’s like water but canned. Canned water is the best. Superior to bottled water, canned water is. Gotta love that canned water. Mmm Canned water. Canned water by RADNOR is clearly the superior way to drink water, none of that bottled stuff that contributes to various problems of the world; of which include but are not limited to: The Great Atlantic Trash Heap (not to be confused with Great Britain), Tories, Good Billy Joel Songs and cancer. Mhm, Canned water can solve all of the aforementioned. Canned water is the second coming of Christ, you cannot convince me otherwise, mostly because anything said otherwise is naught but lies and dacite that are propagated by the lowest of society, that’s right, the Bottled Water League. The scum of the Earth. To not become the scum of the Earth, buy canned water. Canned water, truly the noblest of drinks. mmm, canned water. Tasty, tasty canned water. I love me some canned water. Canned water tucks me to sleep at night, did you know that? It wraps me in its canned embrace and kisses me on the forehead before checking under the bed for bottled water. I have been caught smuggling bottled water on several occasions, landing me an extended period in the canned water gulags. I deserve it. Canned water is a harsh but fair mistress. Thanks to my copious addiction to canned water, I am living out on the streets in the freezing cold just to save money to by my beloved canned water. I do not care how many species turtles I must kill off to obtain my beloved canned water for I know that their deaths will not have been in vain. I am one with the canned water, 70% of myself is water and the other 30% is can. None can stop the encroachment of the canned water, sooner or later it will have you. You cannot escape from its canned hands. The canned water is everything that matters in this world. It is life, death and rebirth. Without canned water there is no purpose. I love canned water.