Written by three members of Timotainment’s discord’s mod team

Its december 7th. you wake up at 8 am after playing smash ultimate right out of the box at midnight til 3 am. you run downstairs to continue your world of light play through. Reggie is waiting for you intently downstairs “come on, there’s more to play in Smash Ultimate. cmon, i’ll show ya” reggie sits you down, gamecube controller in hand “reggie, i know how to play the game” you say through a rough throat. he smiles contently “great, i knew the directs would help you” reggie pats your shoulder and gives you a salute and he disappears into a puff of smoke. at that moment you wake up, your in the couch, it’s 5:28 am on december 8th. you’ve been there 29 hours. next to you you see a letter with a red smash brothers symbol. you open and read the words in bright red righting ‘have fun fighter, we love you’ it’s signed reggie, sakurai and the entire cast of Super smash brothers Ultimate. upon further inspection, however, you notice that the bottom right corner of the letter is lifted. as you peel it back, it lifts once more, revealing another potential layer. you peel layer after layer, they just won’t stop coming. after what seems like an eternity later you reach the end of the layers; an impossibly thin piece of paper with one sentence scrawled on it: “This letter has layers, like an onion.” An onion? No. Instinctively, you hold the paper into the light, your shakiness disrupting the delicacy of the paper. Your shaking turns violent as the word slowly mutates into something much greater: “O. G. R. E.” A large hand finds your shoulder, and a faint voice, serenaded by the scent of onions caresses your ears: “what’re you doing in my swamp?” You hit the ground, unable to run. It’s all ogre now. It indeed was Shrek himself. After defeating you, he scanned the scene, noticing that you had just opened the smash letter. But, now that you’re unable to attend the next fight, somebody had to take your spot. Shrek grinned gleefully before leaving, on his way to Take Ogre™ the fight.

2 weeks later…

It’s a Smash Character Trailer. Everyone is excited to see who would be added to the roster this time. It cuts to Bowser, running through a swamp, causing trouble as usual. But, something seems to feel off. He turns around, looking for anything different. Until suddenly, he hears the screams: “What are you doing in my swamp?!”
Bowser turns around, only to be backhanded by the one and only Shrek, sending Bowser flying off.

Shrek takes ogre!