https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7hup0e/whats_the_hardest_would_you_rather_question/dqui1fr/
Some of us grew up with Christian mothers who were hellbent on protecting our purity and keeping us away from porn. They knew if they went to sleep before us the Devil would win, so it was a nightly standoff. Who can stay awake the longest? In their arrogance, they thought waiting on the other side of the cracked-open basement door with the TV volume turned down was enough to prevent us from reaching what we sought. In reality, it only forced us to resort to Mission Impossible-esque ninja daredevil masturbation tactics.
Some of us have a decade of practice getting off in dead silence to muted porn in under 2 minutes under the constant threat of being discovered because it was the only way we could keep the hormone-madness at bay during our teenage years.
Some of us suffered through periods of total parental-control lockdown on our dial-up connection PCs, when our search history was emailed to our parents daily, R-rated movies were purged from the VHS and DVD collections, Dad’s playboy stash was incinerated, and basic cable never had our backs. Starved for titties, we found arousal wherever we could: K-mart swimsuit ads, the cheerleaders’ group photo in the previous year’s yearbook, Morgan Webb fully clothed on X-Play, pausing Smash Brothers when Princess Peach did a high kick, trawling through boxes of National Geographic magazines hoping to find just one photo of an exposed, pendulous titty. A single low-res JPEG of a blurry upskirt would have sustained us for months in those dark times.
You have no idea what we are capable of masturbating to.