What can I say? I started watching pornography at a very young age, too young, some might argue. And after that I just grew up with it, it became a part of my regular routine, as normal as getting up or taking a bath. I’ve spent countless hours watching porn, believe me when I tell you, I’ve seen my fair share of skin. It began as most addictions begin, you start with the soft stuff and move up to the more hardcore creampie double penetration gangbang stuff. I found myself constantly trying to quit porn, put aside all those feelings of lust and desire, but my will just wasn’t strong enough. Every time I’d end up in the same place, browsing the same pages, looking at the same images and videos that previously aroused me. Well, guess what? It’s not that simple anymore. A pair of breasts doesn’t arouse me anymore, why should it when I’ve seen tits as big as balloons? I blame myself, no one forced me to watch those videos, or to enjoy them so very much. I picked my poison, and watched as it corrupted my body, leaving a shell of who I used to be. Not that I became a serial killer or anything, I consider myself a rather stable individual, capable of discerning right from wrong, able to understand the consequences of my actions. So, what’s my point then? If it hasn’t made me bad shit crazy or socially awkward, what’s so bad about it? Emptiness. Depression. Isolation. Anxiety. Regret. Guilt. What do I have to show for all those hours of porn? A dirty browser?
Shad, my masked friend… I enjoyed all those happy hours you gave me, I am truly grateful for that, but… It’s time for me to go. All sins carry a burden.