The United States should switch measurement systems – but it shouldn’t switch to metric

The United States is one of only a few countries in the world that does not use the metric system, using the imperial system instead. Many in America decry this fact, calling the metric system simpler to use and just generally more useful, however, these calls have been resisted by traditionalists who have opposed the introduction of metric units for various reasons. The fight between advocates of Imperial Units and Metric Units rages on.

However, I think both of these standards are not suitable for the US. I would instead like to propose a third system, which can be called multiple things from “American Units” to “Freedom Units”

#Why not Metric?

Because metric is a left wing plot to destroy America. Do you know who else used metric? Communists. That’s right the official measurement system of the USSR was metric. Do you really want to turn this nation into a commie hellhole? Move to vuvuzuela if you want metric so bad

of course i hear the comments already. “metric isn’t communism it’s democratic socialism” guess what fucktard, today we adopt the metric system and tommorow we’re all being sent to the gulags for wrongthink. I read 1984. The metric system is literally 1984. Support freedom, we can never adopt the metric system

#Why not Imperial?

American “traditionalists” often agree that the metric system is for commies and then say “that’s why we should keep the imperial system around”. What a stupid argument. I would have agreed with it before but pick up a history book? Do you know where the imperial system comes from? That’s right! **The British Empire**. We didn’t throw a bunch of tea into the sea so we could keep using British Units of Measurement. Now I can already hear what people are saying “but imperial units have been in use for so long that they’re practically American now” why don’t you lick the queen’s boots harder you fucking royalist scum. If you want to worship the royal family so bad you can move to [Vanuatu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Philip_Movement)

#A new system

The only obvious solution is to create a new system from scratch to make it sufficiently American. Anything else would go against American values. If you dont support this you hate freedom and you hate America.

Dump Imperial. Dump Metric. Adopt **Freedom Units**

So what will Freedom Units entail?

#Length

To measure length, imperial units use feet, yards and miles while metric uses meters.

However, we can do better than those fucking idiots. What is the most American thing people use to measure things? Football fields. In news reports to say how big something is they say “it’s 5 football fields long”

Football field is a mouthful though so we will simply shorten it to “field”. If you need to run a distance of 5 football field you will say “I’m going on a 5 field run”

What about shorter units of measures? Like the metric system we’ll split up our units into deci, centi, kilo, etc.

Instead of saying “I’m 6’2” you be around .02 fields tall, so you would say “I am around 2 centifields tall”

this is a perfect system with no drawbacks. Conversion would be 300 feet = 1 field

#Temprature

Celsius measures water’s freezing and boiling point. Fahrenheit measures brine or something idk.

How about something more *American*

We will define our temperature scale based on bald eagle hatching ranges. [The optimal range for a bald eagle egg to hatch in is from 84.5 to 104.5 degrees farenheight](https://www.raptorresource.org/2019/02/20/eggs-and-cold-weather/).

Therefore, our new temperature units called “Eagle” will set 84.5 degrees farenheight to 0 degrees eagle and 104.5 degrees farenheight to 100 degrees eagle. This is the perfect system

#Weight

Instead of using “kilograms” or “british currency” to weight people, we should instead use something more relevant. A Big Mac is 240 grams heavy. From now on everything with be measured in Big Macs.


#Conclusion

fuck you america fuck yeah let’s adopt freedom units